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I saw a different doctor today.  Still no idea why my left leg is painful and partially numb.  It's starting to get hard to remember a time when I wasn't numb and I didn't have pain.  I can barely remember running 20 + miles.  I can't imagine running a full marathon.  I struggle to wrap my mind around the fact that in one day everything changed, and no one knows why.

I'm hanging on to the important things; my kids and husband are amazing and I love them so much.  But a large part of who I am is what I do, being active.  When I'm out on the road bike or running for hours, I feel alive.

During my century bike ride last summer I hit 90 miles and I was struggling.  I wanted to give up and let SAG support take me in.  But I told myself "Who are you? Are you someone who quits?  Times like these show who you are."  I pushed through and actually biked 116 miles that day.  Those are the times that I feel closest to who I am.  It's also during these times that I spend a lot of time in prayer.  Praying for my family and friends and even strangers that I pass.

I am a different person when I'm pushing myself.  All the things I do that people think are crazy, make me a better person.  I miss that person.

During this time of upheaval I am on the look out for songs that inspire and encourage me to not give up on my dreams.  I love these...



For three days I was bed-ridden and could not stand.  I love the beginning of this video..



With no diagnosis I can't say much about whats going on.  But I KNOW one very important thing, God is in control of my life.  I let Him live through me.  He has chosen this path for me and I will walk it with Him.  I do know one other thing, if by God's grace I am able to run again, crossing that finish line will be AMAZING!