Fighting for Normal

Three months ago I ran my first 20 mile run.  The next day I was moving some laundry from the washer to the dryer and intense pain went through my back.  The rest of that day I was on the couch.  The pain went away and I was back to my normal routine the very next day.  Throughout the weeks that followed I would feel little tinges of pain that would quickly go way with a little rest or stretching.

I continued to train hard (is there any other way?).  Every two weeks I added one mile to my longest distance and made it to 23 miles.  We went on vacation and I ran in Florida (so fun!).  My back was fine; just a little soreness that would go away as I ran.  But I had this lingering pain in my left leg.  It was present the entire time I ran.  I planned on going to the doctor when we got home because I knew something wasn't right.

The last day of our vacation we headed to Magic Kingdom.  I was feeling fine until after lunch when I picked Elliana up and carried her on my left hip.  It was all downhill from that moment on (the next 10 hours of bumpy rides and constant standing in lines).  When the fireworks started my body betrayed me. Tears streamed down my face and my breathing was quick.   I could no longer hide the constant, debilitating pain.  When the fireworks ended (I was not about to make my kids miss one second of their time in Magic Kingdom), we headed to our resort and I fell into bed.  The next day we drove 16 hours back home.

My doctor  had called in pain medication and it was our goal to get home and get those pills.  When we pulled into the Walgreen's drive thru and asked for my meds we were shocked.  They had nothing for me.  The next morning I called and they did have a Rx for me.  Apparently the night shift was not aware of this fact.

Two days later I saw a doctor who then sent me to get an MRI of my lower lumbar (back).  Three days later I had the x-ray.  At that point I was feeling good.  I could no longer run (only a couple of steps before the pain  made me stop), but I could ride my bike trainer with very little discomfort.  As I waited for the radiologist to read the MRI and my doctor to call me with the results I just went about my normal routine (except no running).

On Friday morning I got up early and road my bike nice and easy.  Aaron was planning a trip out of town after lunch.  So when he left I got on the trainer and did a little riding while the kids enjoyed a video.  About 45 minutes into the ride I transitioned from sitting to standing.   There was an immediate surge of pain and I knew that something was very wrong.  I managed to get myself off the bike and to the floor.  Joshua brought me an ice pack and I waited for the pain to ease.  After just a few minutes I knew that I was in trouble.  The pain was going down my left leg and I could not move.  I was at home alone with my kids and I could not move.

I knew I had to get up.  When I made myself stand I realized that this was far worse than I thought.    Once again my body failed me.  I could only speak one word at a time, and tears were streaming down my cheeks.  This was bad.  I sent Aaron a text telling him to come home (he was an hour and a half away) I called my doctor to see if they had my MRI results.  They did; I had a herniated disk and a tear in another disk.  They were planning on referring me to a nerosurgeon.  As I was on the phone the nurse became concerned about my state and said they wanted me to go to the ER.  Luckily my amazing sister-in-law and brother-in-law dropped everything and rushed to my home.  I did not know that this level of pain existed.  It was beyond anything that I could ever have imagined.  I could hear myself crying and see myself shaking.  But I could not stop either action from happening.  I just wanted the pain to stop.

We got to the ER and I actually had to wait in the waiting room!  Are you kidding me!  Eventually they brought me back and gave me pain medicine (nurse said it was 10x the strength of morphine)  it did not take away the pain.  The neurosurgeon came in and checked me out.  He explained that I did have a herniate disk and a tear.  But my pain was coming from inflammation in my joints from over use.  He said this happens to "extreme athletes".

So I was given meds for pain and to reduce inflammation in my joints.  I spent the first three days at home in bed.  Aaron gave me medicine around the clock, brought me my meals, took care of the kids, and comforted me when I had enough.  I am now able to be up for about 5-10 minutes before the pain drives me back to bed.  I cannot sit or stand without pain.  The pain is so intense it leaves me exhausted and nauseous.  At my last doctors appointment I was told that it would be weeks before I would be back to normal.  And if the medications don't work I might need cortisone shots to reduce the inflammation.  I was also told that my marathon training is on hold temporarily, perhaps indefinitely.

My goals used to be running a certain number of miles, cleaning my house, and making a great meal for my family.  At the moment all of those things are out of my reach.  My current goal is to be able sit up without pain.  I will attack this goal like all the others, with perseverance and determination.

God is very good at getting our attention.  When we won't stop, He will stop us.  I am already seeing blessings from this situation.  I will continue to keep my eyes open to what He wants me to see.