One Phone Call Away

My love for my family, both immediate and extended, puts me in a situation that is less than comfortable. I have learned throughout my life that each day is a gift. These wonderful people God has put in my life can disappear in an instant. I am literally one phone call away from my knees. And so are you.

Because I love these mortal beings so much, I worry about them. I want my kids, my husband, my brothers and sisters, and my parents to be healthy and live long lives. Not only for themselves but (selfishly) for me. I want to always have these gifts in my life. The thought of losing even one of these treasures terrifies me. Yet I know that this is a possibility, everyday. So I endeavor to daily lay these beloved beings at the feet of Jesus. Sending petitions for their safety.

Most days that is enough to quench my anxiety. Yesterday was not one of those days. Tuesday night Aaron and I noticed another bump on Asher's forehead. It wasn't little. In fact it looked like he had been hit really hard or fallen very far. There were two problems with this lump. 1. This was not the first time we had noticed a bump on his head. In the past we had seen them several times, but we assumed he had gotten hit and didn't remember. 2. I was with him all day and night. I knew for a fact that he had not been injured.

My momma brain started freaking out. Worst case scenario for me was cancer. So I started researching signs and symptoms. I stumbled upon Leukemia. Two symptoms matched.

Asher went to bed and woke up with a bigger knot on his head. Aaron and I agreed that he needed to see the doctor. I called and prayed the nurse would get me in ASAP (in the past the bumps come and go). She called me back within an hour and had me in Wednesday morning. The doctor, who normally acts laid back, went into action when he saw Asher's bump. He said he wanted to run a full spectrum blood test to rule out the serious stuff. He started to use a bunch of words that I had read the night before, when I was researching Leukemia. So I told him, "I am afraid that its Leukemia." He said "That is what the blood test will tell us."

Asher was super brave during the blood draw. He wiped away a few tears but he didn't say a word. We went home and waited. The doctor had assured me that the results should be back by the end of the day. It was 11:30 am, how long must I wait.

The hours went by slowly, we attempted to go about our day like normal. But I was only half present. Part of my mind was constantly worrying, nervous, anxious about this one phone call. I stared at Asher's bump all day. It was a constant reminder of my fears. Aaron came home from work and still no phone call. Then at 4:15 pm the phone rang.

I was completely aware that this one phone call, this one conversation could change our lives forever. It would either break our hearts and cause uncontainable sorrow, or bring complete and utter joy. I answered and the nurse started saying a bunch of words about his blood test results. The only ones that I remember are "normal" and "nothing in his blood shows Leukemia". I made her repeat it twice and she and I were both laughing and full of joy.

Thank you Lord for getting Aaron and I through yesterday. I will endeavor to stay on my knees for those I love. Leaving them at the feet of Jesus. And praise God that He will be with me on the good days and on the days when I am one phone call away from falling to pieces.